14 December 2010

Where does the time go?

I can't believe it's the end of another year. 2011 is peeking around the corner and I'm so not ready for it. It's a shame isn't it? No matter where you are in the race, the stopwatch keeps going.
I don't have a mirror above my bed but I'm pretty sure this is how I look every morning before I get out of bed. Scared, confused, holding my breath, bracing myself for what the day has planned. It doesn't matter what I have planned, life always has something else in store for me. From time to time it let's me think I have control, but in truth, I know that no matter how organized and well laid out my plans are, life always does me one better.
I need to be more like a surfer. Just ride the waves instead of frantically paddling against them. Or in my case, just sink like a dead weight because I never learned to swim.
In my efforts to make next year just a wee bit better, I've decided to focus on what my circle of influence is. Let's face it, if I'm going to be truthful my circle involves just me really. I can't really control anything around me; not my husband, kids, schedules, friends... just me. I'm thinking if I can get that down then everything else will take care of itself. Sounds a little bumper stickerish but that's the best I can do for now.
I can't really have any regrets because my life is pretty good considering where I could be right now. Everything shapes and molds us and we can take the good and run with it or wallow in the messy bits and blame everyone for our misfortunes.
Well, 2011 is coming whether I'm ready or not. It will come in like a hard and fast wave and leave before I realize what hit me and I plan on having a life preserver and enjoy the ride...