24 July 2010


Every time I go back to New Jersey to visit my family I get into this funk when I come back. I always feel like I'm leaving such a huge part of myself behind.
I went this past weekend to visit my cousins and even though we weren't there for long, we had such a great time. My family has a way of welcoming you and spoiling you like crazy. They exude love. It's such a powerful force. I imagine that is what Heaven must be like. That 'coming home' feeling. Being surrounded by people who love you, warts and all.

I just want to thank them for always being such amazing examples to me and for their unconditional love!! And Mary, I will be there again alot sooner than you think. Hopefully you'll have time to get 'sick of me'. :) I love you all!!!!!!!!!

15 July 2010

Drum roll...

I had my appointment with the specialist today and he agreed that the cysts I have are textbook and that I am okay! He said I do have many, but that unless they are causing me great pain or they change in texture I am fine. I can finally breathe.
That is a wonderful birthday gift!
The positive side is that I learned a lot about breast cancer and fibroid cysts, so I am thankful that I had some good doctors that were concerned and decided to err on the side of caution. I am thankful for family and friends who were so supportive and kept me in their prayers. I am thankful for the phone calls and the emails. I am thankful!

10 July 2010

When can I breathe?

A couple of months ago I discovered a lump in my breast. You could see it plainly. I didn't think much about at first because I figured it would go away; it was just related to my crazy cycle which is always off. Well, it started to get bigger so I shared the news with Bobby and he immediately told me to make an appointment for a check up. I hate to go to the doctors and I didn't want to look dumb if it turned out to be nothing and besides, Bobby found another lump on the other breast so we figured it was probably a lymph node or a milk duct that we never noticed before.

I went for my check up and the doctor looked concerned. She said I had several lumps and a few of them were 'impressive' in size. She left the room and came back and told me I needed to be seen right away. She was very concerned and didn't want to alarm me, but she said it was something she wanted done as soon as possible. It doesn't take much to get my mind racing. I am a nervous person by nature so it was difficult to keep calm. The doctor had the secretary making calls to get me in right away, but no luck. The doctor herself got on the phone as well. About 40 minutes later, they told me that because of the holiday weekend it was to difficult to get me in and that they were sorry but I was going to have to wait until Tuesday (it was Thursday July 1st), and if anything opened up before then they would call me.

It was an incredibly LONG weekend. I don't do well with not knowing and having to wait. There was no sense in alarming anyone else, so I waited.

Tuesday finally came and I went to Mercy to have my mammogram and ultrasound. They found about 50 cysts. Some were very large. The technician and doctor there were great. They told me they looked like cysts and unless they were bothering me they didn't have to do anything else. They would keep an eye on them for any changes and I was good to go. When my doctor received the news she was not happy. She wanted me to keep my appointment with a surgeon (the one I cancelled because all looked well),because a cyst could be cancerous. The only way to know for sure is to have them aspirated and then have the fluid checked. She said her concern was that there were a few that were so large and firm ( I guess most cysts have a grape-like texture.) So I had to call and reschedule. The first opening is on my birthday, Thursday.

She told me it was better to be safe and be checked than to wait on something that could be worse in the long run because nothing was done.

So now I am left to wait again. The odds are for me that there isn't anything wrong. I am thankful that my doctor is playing it safe, but that still leaves my mind to wander and wonder,

" What if?"

What if I'm the one who ends up being in that 5% bracket? It is funny to me that doctors tell their patients, "Oh, that is rare." or "The odds of that happening are small." Obviously it happens to someone. Someone out there is in that 5% bracket. What do they do when their patient is that one?

Again, I'm sure I'm fine. But I am praying for that 5% group that have to deal with the bad news... like my cousin Irma who was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer and has endured 9 months of chemotherapy and radiation treatments. She is an amazing person and I am thankful that the odds for her are looking positive. She is home now recovering and waiting...

Me? I'll be holding my breathe until Thursday...

05 July 2010

The 4th

We have a tradition on the 4th to watch the fireworks in Springfield (weather permitting), from a median at the parking garage on Columbus Ave. We have alot of good memories from this spot.

The Yeagers, Metzgers and two of the Baird girls were able to join us this year...

The happy gang...

What a ham...

My friend Jenn took us stawberry picking at a place in Agawam and for the life of me I can't remember the name of it! I went home with some monster berries that Mercedes enjoyed... ;]